Have you ever felt helpless?? I have. Seeing my wife go through the entire process of pregnancy and the delivery of my son was the most helpless I’ve ever felt.
Now let me ask you something else: Have you tried putting yourself in the shoes of your pregnant wife over the course of those months that she was/is carrying your child inside of her belly? Cause if not, you sure should.
Between the constant exhaustion, sleepless nights, acid reflux, heartburn etc. (Don’t forget that she’ll more than likely continue working until she absolutely can’t anymore) Where is she supposed to find the time to focus on the things that still need to get done around the house let alone find some time for herself to simply relax? This is where we come in.
There are so many things that most new-to-be dads do not take into account when it comes to supporting our SO (significant other) during the course of her pregnancy; so many things that we could be doing daily to try and make her life as easy as possible that would make a world of difference for her. And isn’t that what we’re here to do after all: Be there to support her unconditionally and make sure she feels like the queen she is? Now, I am in no way the perfect husband, but the one thing I had to (and you should as well) take into account is: Despite how difficult it may seem to try and pick up some of the slack for her during this time, she has it MUCH harder than you do. The sooner that you can come to this realization, the sooner you can get started on being the rock star husband that she needs and deserves!
Although there are literally 275,637 things that you can do to make her time while carrying your baby as easy as possible, I want to whittle it down to eight things that I feel are the most important in relation to making her feel cared for and appreciated (Because after all, she is soon to give you the most important gift of all, your little baby boy or girl!)
- Help Without being asked: It’s far too easy to constantly ask: “What can I do? What can I do? What can I do? (Annoying right?) Take the extra effort to pay attention to and learn her needs so that you know what she wants even before she knows she needs it. See her rubbing her neck or shoulders? Offer to give her a neck massage or back rub. If you want to gain some extra brownie points, break out the coconut oil and give her a good ol’ full body massage (Focus on her feet and lower back, trust me!) Is the trash full? Take it out. Sink full of dishes? Wash them. I think you get the point. Regardless of what it is you do, take the time to consider what things you can take off her plate. She’ll absolutely recognize it and be so thankful for you.
- New Her, New You: The first thing that goes out the window when your SO finds out she’s pregnant is the booze and smoking of any kind. You should really make an effort to quit these habits as well as neither are healthy for a relationship nor on the body. This is also a great time to start focusing on eating better as a couple as many women will drastically change their diets as well. The benefits of eating well during pregnancy are vast in number and I recommend doing some research on the topic. (WARNING! Do NOT deny a pregnant woman of ANY and I repeat ANY cravings she might have. This is the easiest way for you to get into the dog house and must be avoided at all costs!) Get used to 2 am 7-11 runs for a bag of peanut M&M’s and Cheetos Puffs!
- Get Informed: The best tool to be able to support your SO is KNOWLEDGE. Read or listen to some books, look online for information regarding pregnancy and how to be more helpful or even spark up a conversation with your own mother and father as to what they did for one another when they were pregnant with you.
- Get Some More Pillows: As your SO gets further and further along in her pregnancy, getting a good nights rest is going to be easier said than done. But by placing a pillow between her knees at night or by purchasing a pregnancy pillow, this will allow for proper spine alignment during sleep and help support her lower back and growing belly as well (Pro tip: Pregnancy pillows can be cut and easily converted to a boppy after your baby arrives!)
- Talk about it: You are going to have concerns, that is without a doubt. But communication is key to a successful relationship and this ABSOLUTELY applies during pregnancy. Do not be afraid to voice your concerns, worries or feeling of inadequacy to her and make an extra effort to be receptive to hers as well. Does she feel like you could be helping her more around the house? Ask her specifically what things she is having trouble getting done (Picking up dirty laundry off the ground will quickly become a task in itself!) and JUMP at the opportunity find out what you can take off her plate.
- Create Memories: Time is going to fly by whether you like it or not. And before you know it, your bundle of joy is going to burst (Is that a bad metaphor?!) onto the scene before you know it. Take a lot of baby bump progress pics and maybe even create a journal together of the adventure of pregnancy. A great app to utilize is one called: BabyCenter. This app has all the info you need regarding pregnancy and beyond. It also has a baby bump photo section where it logs and organizes your pictures by date.
- Look After Her: After your baby arrives, your wife is going to be EXTREMELY sore and hormonal, so taking on even more tasks revolving around baby is going to a great way to help her out: Change as many diapers as you can in the first few months, cook more, and take a lots of time learning about breastfeeding and how you can support her in this task. You may not know it, but breastfeeding literally ZAPS the energy out of all women so taking the time to let her focus solely on that will mean so much to her and will make you feel so good for helping her out.
- Tell Her You Love Her: Lastly, let her know that you love her and that you are proud of her. Over and over and over and over again….(Get the point?) No one EVER gets tired of hearing those words.
Although these are only eight things I personally find the most important that you can do to be supportive and show that you care, there are still 275,629 things that you can do EVERY DAY to show that you care, love and support her.
So dive right in. Get your hands dirty (This unavoidable after baby comes) and be the person that she wants, needs and above all else DESERVES.
And be proud of yourself! Being here and reading this shows that your taking the right steps in the right direction.
Good on you and GOOD LUCK!